What Are You Grateful for Today?

I'm not here to tell you to count your blessings or be thankful for challenges in your life. I won't insist that you write, verbalise, or meditate on "What are you grateful for today?" I am not going to tell you to focus on the positives in life. Like me, you've probably heard it all before. 

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Why Gratitude Makes us Feel Good:

Think back to the last time you told a loved one how much you appreciated them. Maybe it was a friend who supported you when your life turned to custard, or your partner who made you feel loved and accepted. It felt good, didn't it?

Gratitude triggers your brain to release two key chemicals:

• Serotonin - fosters lasting happiness and contentment, like the joy of spending time with loved ones. 
• Dopamine - fuels short-term motivation and pleasure, like the excitement of sex or scrolling social media. 

Dopamine says, "I need more," while serotonin says, "I have enough." 

If you are curious how else these chemicals differ, check out this video (Serotonin vs. Dopamine).

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Long-Term Benefits of Gratitude:

1. Increased life fulfillment
   Gratitude helps shift our focus from scarcity, what's missing in life, to abundance. It enables us to find happiness in the present moment.
2. Combat depression
   Depression is attributed to lower serotonin levels. Practicing gratitude naturally boosts serotonin, providing support in combating depressive symptoms.
3. Create a positivity bias
   Gratitude trains your brain to focus on the positive, like strengthening a muscle. Over time it becomes easier to spot positives and negate the negatives when facing future challenges.
4. Strengthen relationships
   Expressing gratitude strengthens relationships through increased feelings of social inclusion and closeness. Healthier relationships contribute to longer, happier lives.

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The Power of Receiving Gratitude:

Think about the last time someone you care about expressed genuine appreciation for you. You likely felt connected, uplifted, and valued. Your self-esteem grew with the knowledge that you matter in someone's life. That emotional boost wasn't random. 

Research shows that hearing a letter of gratitude from a colleague activates areas of the brain responsible for positive social interactions, self-esteem, and improved mood. This is interesting when you consider most conversations around gratitude focus on personal benefits. We are fixated on identifying what or who "I" am grateful for. But as it turns out, receiving the benefits of practicing gratitude isn't just about us.

When you express your appreciation, whether through a letter of gratitude or a kind worded compliment, you are contributing to someone's happiness. You are deepening your relationship, nurturing their self-esteem, and boosting their emotional well-being. Imagine being able to support a friend battling depression, help your partner feel more valued, or brighten your mother's day. By sharing gratitude, we create long lasting positive impacts in the lives of others. So maybe we shouldn't be focusing on "What am I grateful for today?" but "Who can I show my gratitude to today?"

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You Cannot Fake Gratitude:

Here is the kicker: the gratitude must be genuine. You can't force it or fake it. An insincere showing of appreciation is not going to incite the benefits of real gratitude. We have all expressed forced or hollow gestures, the half-baked smile or disingenuous "thank you". These never leave us feeling good. Genuine gratitude requires authenticity.

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Incorporate Gratitude in Our Lives:

As I said earlier, I am not here to repeat what you already know. You are familiar with the basics of gratitude and if you need reminders, you have Google at your fingertips. Instead, I just want to suggest one way of incorporating more gratitude into your life.

Shift the focus of gratitude outward and externalise your appreciation to others!

If you care about someone, tell them. Too often we take people for granted or assume that they know we appreciate them. But now we know the positive effects of gratitude, there is no excuse for holding onto those feelings of appreciation. You want your loved ones to live long happier lives, don't you?

Some simple suggestions:

• Write it down: A message, letter, email, or even a meme.
• Verbalise it: Leave a voice message, make a phone call, or express thanks face to face
• Give a gift: Give something thoughtful, like flowers, coffee, or an act of service (e.g., doing the dishes). 

They don't need to be grand gestures, just genuine ones. That is it! You will find the more you give gratitude, the more others will offer it in return. You can be the one who starts the cycle of appreciation.

"Giving opens the way for receiving.", Florence Scovel Shinn

We may not fully understand the complex power of gratitude, but we know it can have a lasting positive impact on our lives. By expressing gratitude we bring more happiness, connection, and positivity to our lives and the lives of those around us. 

So, who will you show your gratitude to today? It only takes a message, a phone call, or a face-to-face conversation to start making a positive difference.